This is an answer on a post by A writer's voice, you should check out her blog, it's great!

Oh my God! Your post was so... I don't know... It left me speechless!

First of all, I'm sorry for your grandma, I know how it feels to lose someone so dearly loved.

Second, I have to congratulate you for what you did, because it was something I could never do.

You see, before my grandpa died, he spent almost a year in a very deplorable state, barely living. He was on bed, with a constant nurse by his side, imposibilited to breathe naturally, to eat, to moove, to see (he had a problem on his left eye), and, well, to live.

The first time I saw him in that state, I couldn't keep my tears from falling, though I knew I had to be strong, for his sake, for my mom's, for my grandma's... While I was there, holding his strong hand in mine, seeing his emaciated body, which used to be so strong, as healthy as a horse's... I had to bite my lip to stop the tears from falling, I knew crying in front of him was more than forbidden. But when I left that room and went to my grandparent's, which was occupied by my grandma alone those days, I burst into the most sorrowful and horrible tears. The worst thing is that I couldn't stop them anymore, I just cried and cried in front of my grandma, one of the people I needed to be strongest to. She couldn't help crying too, and there we stood, hugging each other, crying out hearts out. I think it was so hard for me because I was realising I was losing him, one of the dearest people in my life.

I guess that is why I wasn't shocked at all the day he passed away (last December 24th, at 2:30 on the evening, believe it or not), because he had already done so for me, the day he wasn't "alive", going from place to place, never sitting still, fixing this and that, swimming in the pool or going for a walk, always mooving. I had long ago realised he would die, and I had long ago said good bye to him, I guess, that day, when I first saw him in that state. Also, I was more happy than sad of his, er, departure, because I knew that all that suffering was over, that he and my family got to rest at last.

I tried to be strong on that ocassion, but I guess you were far much stronger than I was.

By the way, thank you very much for your prompt, it brought back recollections of one I love so tenderly, one I miss so much, and it made me think about that time, which I hadn't thought about for so long.