This is an answer on a post by A writer's voice, you should check out her blog, it's great!

Oh my God! Your post was so... I don't know... It left me speechless!

First of all, I'm sorry for your grandma, I know how it feels to lose someone so dearly loved.

Second, I have to congratulate you for what you did, because it was something I could never do.

You see, before my grandpa died, he spent almost a year in a very deplorable state, barely living. He was on bed, with a constant nurse by his side, imposibilited to breathe naturally, to eat, to moove, to see (he had a problem on his left eye), and, well, to live.

The first time I saw him in that state, I couldn't keep my tears from falling, though I knew I had to be strong, for his sake, for my mom's, for my grandma's... While I was there, holding his strong hand in mine, seeing his emaciated body, which used to be so strong, as healthy as a horse's... I had to bite my lip to stop the tears from falling, I knew crying in front of him was more than forbidden. But when I left that room and went to my grandparent's, which was occupied by my grandma alone those days, I burst into the most sorrowful and horrible tears. The worst thing is that I couldn't stop them anymore, I just cried and cried in front of my grandma, one of the people I needed to be strongest to. She couldn't help crying too, and there we stood, hugging each other, crying out hearts out. I think it was so hard for me because I was realising I was losing him, one of the dearest people in my life.

I guess that is why I wasn't shocked at all the day he passed away (last December 24th, at 2:30 on the evening, believe it or not), because he had already done so for me, the day he wasn't "alive", going from place to place, never sitting still, fixing this and that, swimming in the pool or going for a walk, always mooving. I had long ago realised he would die, and I had long ago said good bye to him, I guess, that day, when I first saw him in that state. Also, I was more happy than sad of his, er, departure, because I knew that all that suffering was over, that he and my family got to rest at last.

I tried to be strong on that ocassion, but I guess you were far much stronger than I was.

By the way, thank you very much for your prompt, it brought back recollections of one I love so tenderly, one I miss so much, and it made me think about that time, which I hadn't thought about for so long.

"Why do you write?"

[This is a answer on a task ('Why do you write?') on a blog called 'A Writer's Voice']

I write because I've read lots of books and discovered writers leave a really nice feeling on me: I realized I understood the magic of their art, so I try to create some sort of that magic. I also think that, as every author has a personal style, they have a personal "magic".

My 'Jazzqueen' blog is about my school essays for my ESL class, I take them seriously because I wish to become a serious writer someday, or at least write as a hobby, because, as I said before, I want to be able to create that magic. I'm trying to develop and uncover MY magic, inspired by all the great writers around me, and I'm hoping to finish my lovely "masterpiece", which I'm currently writing.

Thanks for the task, it made me think and discover a lot! : )

Grandpa reminiscences

This is an old comment I made at "A Writer's Voice", a blog I follow.She mentioned remembering her grandpa's speaking voice, and the particular sound it made. That brought back recollections about my grandpa:

WOW! Your story is so cute! Your stories are always very cute... = )
I'm amazed at how much that story looks like mine.
My grandpa is kinda in coma now, always lying on a bed at my granny's house and using a special machine to breathe and 'eat'. Before, he also used a special devise to be able to talk, as he has a tube inside of his throat. He made a strange sound when speaking, too.
But what reminded me of my story was that you missed so much the sound of his voice. One of the things I miss the most is his smell: he used to wear a special brand of perfume I'm never gonna forget. The other day I was buying some stuff at a random shop, when a middle-aged man joined the kinda cue that had formed behind of me. I has thrilled: he wore the exact scent my grandpa used to wear! I tried to inhale as much as I could, it smelled exactly as my grandpa! When the man left, I felt a strange feeling of emptyness, as I miss that smell so much! = (

When I remember his scent, I can't avoid smiling, for I miss him, but at the same time, I now know he's at a better place now. And I know that, someday, I'll see him again, so I just have to wait. =)

Thanks again for your post, it made me smile.